We have one home study visit down and 3 to go. We went for our home study orientation on June 23rd which counted as our first visit. Before we can set up our next visit, we have to have all of our required paperwork turned in. We are probably 50-60% of the way through our paperwork. After we get all of it completed, we will be assigned a social worker who will do the remaining visits in our home. We should be able to complete our home study by the end of the summer (but hopefully sooner!).
Our snag has been with Robby's and my physicals. All of us are required to have physicals and a PPD to check for TB. We got the kids' knocked out, no problem. We have had multiple problems with ours. First off, the doctor's office we had our physicals done has no notary. Our forms have to be notarized. We did not know they did not have a notary until my physical was already completed. So, I go to pick up my form and they are like, "Did you know this had to be notarized?" "Yes.", I reply. "Oh, well we don't have a notary here." "OK..." So, then they tell me that I will have to bring a notary there to get it notarized.
After Robby had his physical done, we arranged for a friend and church member who is a notary to come and notarize both of our forms. She was so kind to do this for us with no charge. We were not able to see the form until after it was notarized and unfortunately, the doctor made some incorrect documentation on Robby's form so we are going to have to make correction to that in some way. This office seems to be very lacking in the documentation department. Also, Robby had surgery as a small child so the doctor has to write a separate letter explaining that situation. The doctor knew that a separate letter was needed for any hx of surgeries. They had two weeks to prepare it before our notary came and yet they neglected to write it.
This whole process has been going on since June 1st when I went in for my physical. We thought it would all be over this week when we had our notary go out to get the paper work signed. We are pretty fed up at this point but there isn't much we can do about it now. I can't speak for Robby, but once we get all the paper work we need, I will not be going back there again. If you need a recommendation on who not to go let me know! If you have any recommendations for me on a good physician who is accepting knew patients please let me know!
The other issue I encountered with my physical, was my blood pressure being extremely high. I thought it was just 'white coat syndrome' at first but when I began checking it at home, it remained high. I stopped taking a prescription that I was on that could have been causing it and I am also working on changing my diet. It has been trending downward since stopping the prescription but still not in the normal range. I am really hoping to avoid BP meds! I am also hoping that the blood pressure recorded on my form won't be an issue.
On a different note, we had a really bad storm last week that knocked our power out for 4 days. The night of the storm, Robby and I had gone to Natural Bridge for dinner and Mom was taking care of our kids. Mom and the kids had gone to McDonald's and we let the dogs out before we left for Natural Bridge. When the storm hit, my Dad called my Mom and told her not to drive home. We got stuck at Natural Bridge. I spoke to Mom and found out that she and the kids were fine, at McDonald's waiting out the storm. Then, all I could think about was my dogs. I just knew that we would find them dead when we got home. I was worried sick and knew I would never forgive myself if they were hurt.
I think we all had a guardian angel that night, including my dogs. When my Mom arrived at our house, she went out to the back to find the dogs under the deck unharmed. There were trees down everywhere and yet none of our trees had fallen. Praise God that all of us were in a safe place during the storm. I'm so glad the dogs knew to go under the deck. The deck has lattice all around it so it must have provided protection for them.
With the power being out, it made me think of the people in our world who live like that every day and how silly we are to complain about a few days without power. People who live without power and don't even have clean water to drink or have to walk for miles to get it. They may have to dig through the garbage to find food for their family. Our family is fortunate that even without power, we have running water. We were fortunate that even though we lost a lot of food in our fridge and freezer, we could go to a restaurant and buy food for our family. In a way, it was nice. It was simple. We did laundry in our bath tub and it was kinda fun. We slept with the windows open. It was quiet. We didn't have electronics to drown out our thoughts. Neighbors came together to help each other. We had our needs met. We had each other.
Tonight, I am thinking about the little boy who will one day be a part of our family. I don't know if his orphanage has power but I can bet they don't have AC (and we all know Africa is not a very cold place). He may not have his needs met. He may not get to eat every day. He may not have clean water to drink. He may not have someone to rock him to sleep or kiss his boo-boos. He may not know that there is a God who loves him so much. My heart aches for him. I long for the day when he will be home.
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Friday, July 6, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
updates
So sorry for being absent for so long. Here is what has been going on lately with our adoption:
Our yard sale was AMAZING!! We can't say thank you enough to everyone who helped out with that. We raised about $2800 total and split that with the Silers so we each got a little over $1400. It was more confirmation to us that God wants this adoption to happen.
We are working toward starting our homestudy. We applied to one agency and were accepted. When we got our packet of stuff, there was a corporal punishment statement that we were required to sign and we didn't feel like we could sign it. It basically said that we would not use any type of physical punishment, including spanking, to discipline our adopted child. The problem is, we feel spanking, when used appropriately, can be a good and effective form of discipline. Not to mention we already use it with our other kids. After reading some of the things people have done to their kids in the name of spanking, I put much emphasis on 'when used appropriately'. I hate that Robby and I are put in the same category as people who beat their child to death with pipe and call it discipline. I feel nauseous just thinking about it. Anyhow, we discussed it in detail with that agency but they wouldn't budge on it so we started searching for another agency and trying to find out what the law is on the corporal punishment deal.
What we discovered is that as of May 1st 2012 the laws in VA are changing pertaining to adoption and foster care. Apparently, the government agencies have been pretty strict and the private agencies more lax in a lot of areas and they are trying to make the standards the same across the board. After May 1st the law will require a corporal punishment statement to be signed. The way the law is worded however, is that the adoptive parent will acknowledge that the state of VA does not encourage corporal punishment and that we will not use corporal punishment with a child who isn't legally ours. So, once the adoption is finalized and the child is ours, we are no longer under that requirement. It applies more to foster children or countries that require a guardianship before the adoption is finalized.
We found a private agency through a friend's recommendation. We discussed this with their social worker in detail and she is the one who explained much of the above to me. She even told me that even if we signed the corporal punishment statement the other agency was asking us to sign, once the child was legally ours we would no longer be bound by it. She said that her agency is drafting a corporal punishment statement in compliance with the new law but it will be worded a lot differently and won't be asking us to sign that we will not spank the child once he/she is legally ours. This was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was feeling a little panicky about the whole thing. So now we are working on getting that application in so that ball can get rolling.
Our next payment will be for our homestudy in the amount of $2000. We have over 1/2 of that raised. Our next fundraiser will be at the big flea market they are having at the Roanoke Civic Center on May 12th. We hope to do a Scentsy/31 party at some point as well.
We also met with our adoption agency to discuss a bunch of things and get questions answered. We are learning that the chance of them having a sibling group under the age of 3 come available is not very likely. We can certainly wait on that if we want but we could be waiting for a long time. Generally, sibling groups are usually over the age of 5 or at least one of them will be. Robby and I have discussed this issue a lot after having that conversation and are now leaning toward adopting one child at a time and keeping the birth order. We are learning more and more how important that can be. If you want to know how to pray for us, that is a big one. Pray that God will give us clarity on how many, what gender, special needs, etc.
Our yard sale was AMAZING!! We can't say thank you enough to everyone who helped out with that. We raised about $2800 total and split that with the Silers so we each got a little over $1400. It was more confirmation to us that God wants this adoption to happen.
We are working toward starting our homestudy. We applied to one agency and were accepted. When we got our packet of stuff, there was a corporal punishment statement that we were required to sign and we didn't feel like we could sign it. It basically said that we would not use any type of physical punishment, including spanking, to discipline our adopted child. The problem is, we feel spanking, when used appropriately, can be a good and effective form of discipline. Not to mention we already use it with our other kids. After reading some of the things people have done to their kids in the name of spanking, I put much emphasis on 'when used appropriately'. I hate that Robby and I are put in the same category as people who beat their child to death with pipe and call it discipline. I feel nauseous just thinking about it. Anyhow, we discussed it in detail with that agency but they wouldn't budge on it so we started searching for another agency and trying to find out what the law is on the corporal punishment deal.
What we discovered is that as of May 1st 2012 the laws in VA are changing pertaining to adoption and foster care. Apparently, the government agencies have been pretty strict and the private agencies more lax in a lot of areas and they are trying to make the standards the same across the board. After May 1st the law will require a corporal punishment statement to be signed. The way the law is worded however, is that the adoptive parent will acknowledge that the state of VA does not encourage corporal punishment and that we will not use corporal punishment with a child who isn't legally ours. So, once the adoption is finalized and the child is ours, we are no longer under that requirement. It applies more to foster children or countries that require a guardianship before the adoption is finalized.
We found a private agency through a friend's recommendation. We discussed this with their social worker in detail and she is the one who explained much of the above to me. She even told me that even if we signed the corporal punishment statement the other agency was asking us to sign, once the child was legally ours we would no longer be bound by it. She said that her agency is drafting a corporal punishment statement in compliance with the new law but it will be worded a lot differently and won't be asking us to sign that we will not spank the child once he/she is legally ours. This was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was feeling a little panicky about the whole thing. So now we are working on getting that application in so that ball can get rolling.
Our next payment will be for our homestudy in the amount of $2000. We have over 1/2 of that raised. Our next fundraiser will be at the big flea market they are having at the Roanoke Civic Center on May 12th. We hope to do a Scentsy/31 party at some point as well.
We also met with our adoption agency to discuss a bunch of things and get questions answered. We are learning that the chance of them having a sibling group under the age of 3 come available is not very likely. We can certainly wait on that if we want but we could be waiting for a long time. Generally, sibling groups are usually over the age of 5 or at least one of them will be. Robby and I have discussed this issue a lot after having that conversation and are now leaning toward adopting one child at a time and keeping the birth order. We are learning more and more how important that can be. If you want to know how to pray for us, that is a big one. Pray that God will give us clarity on how many, what gender, special needs, etc.
Monday, February 27, 2012
consider it pure joy
When Robby and I first started looking into adopting, I began reading blogs of other families who have adopted. It's always helpful for me to get some perspective from people who have 'been there done that'. I read about how families endure spiritual attack during the process and how Satan hates adoption. I had never thought about that before but it made sense. Renee from Steppin' Heavenward wrote about it here.
So, I had some warning but I still wasn't ready for it. As soon as we announced we were adopting, my daughter (who has been completely potty trained for a month), started peeing in her pants out of blatant disobedience several times a day. She also suddenly started majorly testing limits and trying to push my buttons. I didn't think much about it (because let's face it, we have behavior struggles from time to time) until we received some negative feedback from someone about our decision to adopt. At that point, I started to feel as if I was under attack. I was feeling inadequate as a parent because of Lydia's lack of obedience and then the weight of those negative comments just built onto that. Then my son acted out in Cubbies last night and at preschool today which is totally out of character for him. Could all of this just be coincidence? Maybe. But personally, I don't think so.
I was feeling discouraged. I started questioning if this really is God's will for our life or if we were mistaken. I started reading adoption blogs and struggles that other families have had along the way. I then went to the book of James and read the first chapter. It was exactly what I needed to hear. The 2nd and 3rd verses seemed to literally jump out at me: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
Thank you, God, for showing me that.
I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was an assurance that this is normal and I should consider it pure joy because it will produce perseverance.
Verse 5 goes on to say: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Wow. It's really so simple. Instead of trying to find wisdom from people or reading literature other than the Bible, I need to go to Him first and simply ask.
The last two verses in that chapter (vs 26-27) confirmed in my heart once again that this is God's plan for our family: "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
The whole chapter is very powerful but those are the points that really stuck out. I now feel rejuvenated again and I am very thankful for a God who hears my prayers and answers them. He laid that scripture on my heart right when I needed it.
I know this is only the tip of the iceberg. I know we will have other struggles along the way. Please pray that we will not get discouraged and that we will remember who to look to for wisdom. Thank you all so much
So, I had some warning but I still wasn't ready for it. As soon as we announced we were adopting, my daughter (who has been completely potty trained for a month), started peeing in her pants out of blatant disobedience several times a day. She also suddenly started majorly testing limits and trying to push my buttons. I didn't think much about it (because let's face it, we have behavior struggles from time to time) until we received some negative feedback from someone about our decision to adopt. At that point, I started to feel as if I was under attack. I was feeling inadequate as a parent because of Lydia's lack of obedience and then the weight of those negative comments just built onto that. Then my son acted out in Cubbies last night and at preschool today which is totally out of character for him. Could all of this just be coincidence? Maybe. But personally, I don't think so.
I was feeling discouraged. I started questioning if this really is God's will for our life or if we were mistaken. I started reading adoption blogs and struggles that other families have had along the way. I then went to the book of James and read the first chapter. It was exactly what I needed to hear. The 2nd and 3rd verses seemed to literally jump out at me: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
Thank you, God, for showing me that.
I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was an assurance that this is normal and I should consider it pure joy because it will produce perseverance.
Verse 5 goes on to say: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Wow. It's really so simple. Instead of trying to find wisdom from people or reading literature other than the Bible, I need to go to Him first and simply ask.
The last two verses in that chapter (vs 26-27) confirmed in my heart once again that this is God's plan for our family: "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
The whole chapter is very powerful but those are the points that really stuck out. I now feel rejuvenated again and I am very thankful for a God who hears my prayers and answers them. He laid that scripture on my heart right when I needed it.
I know this is only the tip of the iceberg. I know we will have other struggles along the way. Please pray that we will not get discouraged and that we will remember who to look to for wisdom. Thank you all so much
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