When Robby and I first started looking into adopting, I began reading blogs of other families who have adopted. It's always helpful for me to get some perspective from people who have 'been there done that'. I read about how families endure spiritual attack during the process and how Satan hates adoption. I had never thought about that before but it made sense. Renee from Steppin' Heavenward wrote about it here.
So, I had some warning but I still wasn't ready for it. As soon as we announced we were adopting, my daughter (who has been completely potty trained for a month), started peeing in her pants out of blatant disobedience several times a day. She also suddenly started majorly testing limits and trying to push my buttons. I didn't think much about it (because let's face it, we have behavior struggles from time to time) until we received some negative feedback from someone about our decision to adopt. At that point, I started to feel as if I was under attack. I was feeling inadequate as a parent because of Lydia's lack of obedience and then the weight of those negative comments just built onto that. Then my son acted out in Cubbies last night and at preschool today which is totally out of character for him. Could all of this just be coincidence? Maybe. But personally, I don't think so.
I was feeling discouraged. I started questioning if this really is God's will for our life or if we were mistaken. I started reading adoption blogs and struggles that other families have had along the way. I then went to the book of James and read the first chapter. It was exactly what I needed to hear. The 2nd and 3rd verses seemed to literally jump out at me: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
Thank you, God, for showing me that.
I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was an assurance that this is normal and I should consider it pure joy because it will produce perseverance.
Verse 5 goes on to say: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Wow. It's really so simple. Instead of trying to find wisdom from people or reading literature other than the Bible, I need to go to Him first and simply ask.
The last two verses in that chapter (vs 26-27) confirmed in my heart once again that this is God's plan for our family: "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
The whole chapter is very powerful but those are the points that really stuck out. I now feel rejuvenated again and I am very thankful for a God who hears my prayers and answers them. He laid that scripture on my heart right when I needed it.
I know this is only the tip of the iceberg. I know we will have other struggles along the way. Please pray that we will not get discouraged and that we will remember who to look to for wisdom. Thank you all so much