Sunday, April 22, 2012


So sorry for being absent for so long. Here is what has been going on lately with our adoption:
Our yard sale was AMAZING!! We can't say thank you enough to everyone who helped out with that. We raised about $2800 total and split that with the Silers so we each got a little over $1400. It was more confirmation to us that God wants this adoption to happen.

We are working toward starting our homestudy. We applied to one agency and were accepted. When we got our packet of stuff, there was a corporal punishment statement that we were required to sign and we didn't feel like we could sign it. It basically said that we would not use any type of physical punishment, including spanking, to discipline our adopted child. The problem is, we feel spanking, when used appropriately, can be a good and effective form of discipline. Not to mention we already use it with our other kids. After reading some of the things people have done to their kids in the name of spanking, I put much emphasis on 'when used appropriately'. I hate that Robby and I are put in the same category as people who beat their child to death with pipe and call it discipline. I feel nauseous just thinking about it. Anyhow, we discussed it in detail with that agency but they wouldn't budge on it so we started searching for another agency and trying to find out what the law is on the corporal punishment deal.

What we discovered is that as of May 1st 2012 the laws in VA are changing pertaining to adoption and foster care. Apparently, the government agencies have been pretty strict and the private agencies more lax in a lot of areas and they are trying to make the standards the same across the board. After May 1st the law will require a corporal punishment statement to be signed. The way the law is worded however, is that the adoptive parent will acknowledge that the state of VA does not encourage corporal punishment and that we will not use corporal punishment with a child who isn't legally ours. So, once the adoption is finalized and the child is ours, we are no longer under that requirement. It applies more to foster children or countries that require a guardianship before the adoption is finalized.

We found a private agency through a friend's recommendation. We discussed this with their social worker in detail and she is the one who explained much of the above to me. She even told me that even if we signed the corporal punishment statement the other agency was asking us to sign, once the child was legally ours we would no longer be bound by it. She said that her agency is drafting a corporal punishment statement in compliance with the new law but it will be worded a lot differently and won't be asking us to sign that we will not spank the child once he/she is legally ours. This was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was feeling a little panicky about the whole thing. So now we are working on getting that application in so that ball can get rolling.

Our next payment will be for our homestudy in the amount of $2000. We have over 1/2 of that raised. Our next fundraiser will be at the big flea market they are having at the Roanoke Civic Center on May 12th. We hope to do a Scentsy/31 party at some point as well.

We also met with our adoption agency to discuss a bunch of things and get questions answered. We are learning that the chance of them having a sibling group under the age of 3 come available is not very likely. We can certainly wait on that if we want but we could be waiting for a long time. Generally, sibling groups are usually over the age of 5 or at least one of them will be. Robby and I have discussed this issue a lot after having that conversation and are now leaning toward adopting one child at a time and keeping the birth order. We are learning more and more how important that can be. If you want to know how to pray for us, that is a big one. Pray that God will give us clarity on how many, what gender, special needs, etc. 

1 comment:

  1. will continue to pray for you over all the crazy amounts of details there are! I'm proud of you for asking questions and not signing things you can't follow through on. It is sad that those that feel God talks about spanking and it's place in the family is categorized with abuse! Also, I went to Lauren's scentsy party, but have been really wanting to get some 31 items so let me know when you do that and I'll be all over it! ;)